I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
