why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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