am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I am spending my child support on dildos
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
