just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize