It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
