Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
