im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
