Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize