i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
