Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
