On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Randomize
