your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
