Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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