I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
