Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
