I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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