You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
