NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
