Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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