I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
