Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize