I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I think I just sharted jello shots
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