Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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