I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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