I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
When did angry sex become our thing?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
