That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Randomize
