so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Randomize
