im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
