So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
