I never want to see another naked old woman again.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
He did a backflip because drugs
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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