Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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