were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
