bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
