Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
