2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
