my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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