Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
it glows. i had to have it.
did i walk over a car last night?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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