I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
