ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
