My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
