gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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