proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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