So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
So. Much. Porn.
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