Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
