Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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