Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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