We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
