Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize