There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize