New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
