I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
