Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
