you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I have fence marks all over my body
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
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